Remember when you were younger, and your parents would kill the mood by snatching the remote to put on HGTV? Okay, maybe this is specifically a me-problem, but nothing destroyed a Saturday afternoon of television like having to watch your parents watch some dude repair bathtub grout.
Fast forward to my adult life, when I caught my very first episode of Fixer Upper. Chip and Joanna worked the hell out of a loft in Waco and my entire life changed. I became an HGTV convert, and discovered that I actually AM interested in learning about shiplap…and the muscular guys in t-shirts and jeans that install it. Now, I’m hopelessly devoted to the dudes of HGTV. Here’s a definitive ranking of which ones are the hottest…because I’ve obviously thought about this a lot and need to put my feelings somewhere.
14. Ty Pennington
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was a show about helping deserving families get their dream homes, buthe main thing I remember about it was that Ty Pennington basically never spoke without an airhorn. I kind of have a headache just thinking about it. Anyway, here’s a photo of Ty rocking kelp pubes.
13. David Bromstad
Yes, David Bromstad, the host of My Lottery Dream House has dimples and great teeth. But, he also has a Mickey Mouse tattoo, which is where I personally draw the line. I am genuinely sorry about this.
12. Steve Ford
Steve from Restored by the Fords is basically the spokesperson for the “Is he hot? Or is he just tall?” movement. Yes, he is very tall. But his mustache appears to be on a personal mission to destroy his hottie status.
11. Orlando Soria
Orlando from Unspouse My House is stinking adorable, and this is not up for debate. Besides the fact that the entire premise of his show is amazing (Clearing an ex’s energy from a home? Chef’s kiss.), his hair is always absolutely perfect and his style is on point. Also….dimples!!
10. Anthony Carrino
Cousins Undercover and Kitchen Cousins star (and cousin, lol) Anthony is pretty much your quintessential builder guy. He has muscles, tattoos, and can make a Carhartt hat look good. He’s the kind of guy you dream about running into if you ever have to make a trip to Lowe’s, or something.
9. Vern Yip
We stan a man who understands the value of a solid outfit Instagram, and that’s truly all I have to say about the perfect man that is HGTV’s Vern Yip.
8. John Colaneri
The other cousin of Cousins Undercover and Kitchen Cousins, John, ticks all of the same hottie boxes as Anthony. Except, he gets extra points for rocking tighter pants, and all of the cute dad content he shares on Instagram.
7. Tarek El Moussa
This Flip or Flop star has biiiiig “guy from your hometown that you didn’t think was hot until you ran into him like five years later and found out he has a sick job” energy, but you know what? Those guys catch your eye for a reason. Just try not to read the captions on his Instagram posts. His overuse of emojis is almost criminal.
6. Jamie Durie
TBH, I’ve probably seen less than half of one episode of The Outdoor Room With Jamie Durie, but his hot Australian accent is the stuff that dreams are made of.
5. Jonathan Scott
Welp, it’s all fun and games until you have to decide on a hotter identical twin from Property Brothers. It took a LONG time for me to finally figure out the difference between Jonathan and Drew, but once I realized that Jonathan is the one who does magic and highlights his hair…it felt like a no brainer. However, he is the more hands-on brother, and that truly is the kind of hot, builder dude energy we’re celebrating here on the definitive list of hot HGTV guys.
4. Drew Scott
I know these guys are IDENTICAL twins, but there’s just something about Drew that makes me slightly more attracted to him than I am to Jonathan. Again, for transparency, it might be the fact that I’m mildly turned off by Jonathan’s obsession with magic. Drew is just hot, okay?
As a reward for making that difficult decision, here is a photo of the Property Brothers (and their other brother, J.D.) that you will never be able to unsee.
3. Scott McGillivray
Scott McGillivray has been on sooo many home improvement shows. He’s like, the king of HGTV. Even if you haven’t seen any of them, you probably just feel like you’ve seen his perfect hair and squishy dimple in every Father’s Day commercial that’s trying to convince you to buy a grill for your dad.
2. Bristol Marunde
Bristol Marunde is the total package. First of all, his name sounds like something out of a paperback erotica. He’s also a classic beefcake hunk, because in addition to hosting Flip or Flop Vegas, he’s an MMA fighter. He’s basically never not using his muscles.
1. Chip Gaines
Man, I love Chip Gaines more than Chip Gaines loves demo day. I’m devastated that there will never be another new episode of Fixer Upper, but I still watch reruns just to see his smiley face happily do whatever Joanna asks of him. I’ll also probably be fine when thye have their own network next summer. Anyway, Chip is essentially the human version of a golden retriever. He’s just so pure and wonderful and perfect, and the world is a better place with him in it.